Blog Critic, welcome back to you...

My Blog Critic has been quiet for a while but today he was back, with the air of one falsely aghast.  "I've been avoiding your blog since you were talking about dead chickens," he lied (and correction: hypnotised chickens, not dead - the proof is here) "but yesterday I braved myself, yes, BRAVED myself, to come back on and what do I get?  Shrunken heads. Horrific.  I was eating tea; a jacket potato actually.  About the size of a shrunken head.  So I couldn't eat it.  YOU spoiled my tea."

Blog Critic does enjoy his tea so I was momentarily apologetic.  I explained I wanted to write about something completely different to the weirdness of recent circumstance.

He launched into his well-rehearsed impersonation of Blog Critic, Outraged.

"YES, and about that!  All that wiffling about being tired and things being strange. I was bored! Get over it!  Blogs shouldn't be for sharing your soul - they should be informative, educational and exciting. I TOLD you that at the beginning. What on earth could be happening that would warrant other people wanting to read about your life?  Moan, moan, moan - that's what everyone does on a blog. I TOLD you" he added, with gleeful triumph "I TOLD you that you'd slide down the slippery slope into self-obsession..."

So I cut in and explained, briefly, what has happened over the past few days.  At the end of it, his phone got cut off.  Blog Critic has a busy life: he needs to watch his fish, and potter about a bit, and complain about my blog and he doesn't have time for charging mobiles.  But I did get a text.

"Bloody hell!" it read. "You should blog that..."